Friday, 19 April 2013

Greens and Labour announce Kiwisex

EMBARGO: 5pm, Friday 19 April 2013
Due to the overwhelming success of our Kiwi-Power initiative through the joint-policy statements between the Green Party and the Labour Party, Green Party co-leader Dr Russel Norman and Labour Party leader David Shearer announce that the next New Zealand government will make Prostitution less expensive for everyone
“Prostitution in NZ is totally fragmented, geographically and financially not to mention the complete lack of dress sense from some sex workers”, said Dr Russel Norman.
“The average Kiwi simply doesn’t know how much they should be paying or where to go for sex.  One moment they go to one location in say South Auckland and they find that the sex workers have moved to another area, the local councils seem to think they should control some aspects of the industry not to mention those right wing evangelical Christians who seem to think they should be in charge”
“The whole situation is unsatisfactory and Kiwi battlers should not have to put up with this kind of uncontrolled capitalism.
“I am proud to announce our new initiative, Kiwi-Sex.  KiwiSex will contract with all prostitutes in NZ and on sell their product at a fair price. The pricing will be transparent and whilst details still need to be worked through such as if allowances need made for unprotected sex, (this will cater for some recent immigrants from countries such as Somalia) there will be a national pricing regime. It is anticipated that a blow job will reduce in price by as much as $35 and intercourse will reduce by around $40. There will also be a government guarantee of satisfaction.
 These saving will be welcomed by all New Zealanders said the leader of the Labour Party David Shearer. When asked if this model has worked anywhere else Mr, Shearer said he had been assured by the Green Party that is a tried and true model, in fact Mr. Shearer went on to say that he had full faith in Mr Norman’s advice given that he is going to be NZ’s next Prime Minister.